I’ve got a problem and I could do with your help, please help me with this one. My five-year-old won’t let me go out!
I’m a single mum with the sole care of my daughter, no weekends off, nothing, nada. So yes the problem is she won’t let me go for a night out, a couple of hours out, not even an hour out. I’ve had a taxi waiting outside the door for half an hour because she is literally clinging onto my leg screaming blue murder, she is so upset, so distraught it just makes me want to cry and it certainly doesn’t put me in the mood for going to town with my mates.
I’ve tried to talk to her about this a couple of times, but the tears start and she refuses to talk about it. I’ve asked her why she doesn’t want me to go out, the answer comes back “I just want to be with you mummy” oh and this was a new one yesterday “I think you’re in danger mummy.” Is this like separation anxiety (I thought that only occurred in toddlers) or is it in actual fact an intelligent little five-year-old who knows how to play her mother, pulling at my heart strings trying to force me to never go out without her? We do lots of fun stuff, 3 festivals and a holiday in the last month means we’ve had amazing time together.
But I need my own time as well to be the best mum that I can be to her. So how do we get around this problem, I’m looking for any advice at all and I’ve used bribery in the past, I’ve tried sneaking out the door, I’ve built her built her a den then run off, I’ve waited for her to go to sleep but I’m now at my wits end with it. I need to go out and I’d like to know that she is happy with it. So, wise ones how do I reassure her? Is there even any reassurance I can give her or is it just a case of having to be the boss and just say I’m going? I’d really appreciate anything at all on this….
Yours, with a clear diary, Zoe xx

5 replies
  1. Sam Lempa
    Sam Lempa says:

    Oh if only there was a perfect solution. If my Son had it his own way he’d want me in his company every waking and non waking hour for that matter. You are a great Mum and definitely need ‘Mum’ alone time. In my opinion perserverance is the key, and providing we have a babysitter that our children can feel safe with, then I’d make the exit short and sweet. In my experience the more fuss that is made by the parent in these separation situations the more a child will persue your attention.
    Majority of the time they’ll soon calm when the parent is out of sight and realise there’s no need to get upset.

    • badmum2013
      badmum2013 says:

      It’s so hard though isn’t it?? I went out on Saturday for a couple of hours, just as a trial run, the scream that came out of her as I stepped out the door broke my heart. Luckily I had a mate with me who was cheerleading and wouldn’t let me look back. I got through it with the help of a nice Sauvignon Blanc, got back to the house, she was as right as rain, like nothing had happened at all. I tried to talk to her about it the following day, but she stopped the conversation saying that talking about it made her too sad. ?‍♀️


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