Sometimes I don’t think I’m cut out to be a mum. Take today for instance, the worst trip to the shops ever. In the beginning I didn’t think it was going to be too bad, my 2 year old had her boots and her coat on for an hour while she played and I did what I had to do, just so we were ready to go and didn’t have a tussle over it. But she started to get the hump when I tried to help her do things like get down the step at the front door and get into her car seat (she is fiercely independent and would rather sit in the driving seat!)
We popped to the supermarket to get some dinner, but Lois wanted to walk, but walk without holding my hand. The first issue arose when she tried to give my hand the slip and got in a tizz crossing a road. She got in such a state she just led on the Tarmac and started crying. Full on tantrum, cars having to stop, sympathetic looks from passers by.
That set the tone for the next 15 minutes in the store, where the tantrum continued in the doorway because she wanted to carry a basket round, a basket that is about 15 times bigger than her. Shoppers stepped over and around her, while I tried talking to her calmly, rationalising with her, walking away from her and eventually picking her up and carrying her. Thankfully an apple caught her eye, so I put her down beside them, but she picked it up and put it straight in her mouth and wouldn’t leave the shelf of them, so up and over my shoulder again, kicking and screaming.
There were people coming past, most with a knowing smile for me, or a “someone’s not happy.” And lots just trying to ignore it. Embarassed doesn’t quite cover it, when I’m trying to coax a distraught little un from the ground and a security guard comes over and offers to help us to the till and on my way. I gratefully take him up on the offer and sling her over my arm so her mouth isn’t piercing my ears.
Even at the till it’s never ending, I’m on self scan so nothing is right anyway, “unexpected item in the bagging area.” I remove it, “put the item in the bagging area.” aarrrrgggghhhh are they kidding me? Meanwhile, my little angel is cleaning the floors right in front of the automatic doors, just so no one can get past, then she wants to get in the bagging area too, both the machine and I pretty much blow up at this point.
What the hell are you supposed to do? I just want to get the shopping done in the quickest time, do I let her stop, just so she stays happy, or would that create a spoilt child? I think it’s great that she stops at each thing in the shop and tells me what it is. Or do I teach her that she has to tow the line? Get in the trolley or walk when I tell her to? But I then feel like a right misery…maybe I’m just not cut out to be a mum…