Holidaymakers have gone inflatable mad, I don’t think they let you through customs without one. We are on holiday at the moment in Lanzarote and you can barely see an inch of the pool for glittery unicorns. Gone are the days where everyone was over the moon with a lilo (if you were posh you had one of the silver ones with a cup holder, but I’m talking really posh). This year there’s boats with shades for two babies, flamingos that take 4, toucans, double rubber rings, dogs, crocodiles, aeroplanes and ponies. We packed a rubber ring, it was a boat when we started but the bottom fell out of it.

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